When She Was Just a Girl

When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
So she ran away in her sleep
And dreamed of paradise
Every time she closed her eyes

When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
And the bullets catch in her teeth

Life goes on
It gets so heavy
The wheel breaks the butterfly
Every tear, a waterfall
In the night, the stormy night
She closed her eyes
In the night, the stormy night
Away she’d fly
And dreamed of paradise

She dreamed of  paradise

So lying underneath those stormy skies
She said, “Oh, I know the sun must set to rise.”

This could be paradise

“Paradise”, Coldplay

Cruelty

I don’t know how to end this craziness.

I don’t.

You think I would know because I’ve been spending a lot of my time studying this whole “thing”, if I can call it that. Psychology. I feel like laughing my a** off every time I’m reminded of how frustratingly clueless I am.

It’s just… I believe in kindness… and humanity, for that matter. Most of the time I end up being disappointed and stuck in perpetual denial.

Everyday I’m faced with that harsh reality. I will never ever get used to the fact that every one of us will always find that weakest point within someone’s life when they would just be mean, selfish, and heartless, however uncharacteristically so.

Men

So these guys keep telling me it’s impossible to understand what it is inside women’s minds. Dear boys, I don’t get you either.

All the more, I don’t understand your so-called rationality. You might want to brag about you being logical, but it honestly baffles me how “stupid” some of you actually are. And I’m not saying this out of old sentiments and whatnot.

If you’re a man, then man up for God’s sake. What’s the point of being logical when it all keeps coming down to doing nothing and getting nothing for that matter? If they don’t serve you well, don’t you know how to toss your reasoned notions away?

Not a Dreamer

Despite my openness about my emotional turmoils and roller coaster everywhere, and how I express it all quite easily here, I always to try be inconspicuous about what it really is about. And some other things, I just don’t want to talk about.

“Is it really necessary?” I ask. I’m that private person too. I may not lock everything or make it exclusive. I just don’t put certain things out there. I wonder if it’s wrong because everybody talks about their dreams all the time, like they’re showing them off. It actually feels very flamboyant and it is actually expected of people. When it comes to listing targets or wishlist, I put my hands up. I guess I’m just not a gutsy dreamer. I don’t dare to dream. Or perhaps I do and I just don’t talk about them, you know? Then I wonder if I just know nothing at all. I mean, we talk about what we know. And it’s a fact that I never really talk about them. Do I truly not have any?

A friend of mine that I like to call Mr. Wise did make it clear for me. Apparently, I have different priorities in life. I wish he’d tell me what I should do. That’d be great.

Will you tell me what’s wrong with me? You’ve been very keenly observant, Mr.

Pace

I don’t need your doubts. If you want to continue doubting, questioning, rethinking, regretting everything all over again. It’s your problem.

Your “what if”s aren’t mine to answer. I don’t need to prove anything to you. You prove it.

Vengeance

“Everyone who loses somebody wants revenge on someone… on God if they can’t find anyone else. But in Africa, in Matobo, the Ku believe that the only way to end grief is to save a life.

If someone is murdered, a year of mourning ends with a ritual that we call the Drowning Man Trial. There’s an all-night party beside a river. At dawn, the killer is put in a boat. He’s taken out on the water and he’s dropped. He’s bound so that he can’t swim.

The family of the dead then has to make a choice. They can let him drown or they can swim out and save him. The Ku believe… that if the family lets the killer drown, they’ll have justice but spend the rest of their lives in mourning. But if they save him, if they admit that life isn’t always just… that very act can take away their sorrow.

Vengeance is a lazy form of grief.”

-Silvia Broome, The Interpreter (2005)

I was watching the movie again and decided to repost this quote.

Little Miss Copycat

I don’t know. Maybe we’re just fans who would love to someday be like our role models.

Then again, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. As soon I noticed it, I couldn’t help but smile.

Say Everything

I don’t want to be bothered by what you think of. But I can’t help seeing them all in my head anyway. You’re always saying something you think I wouldn’t understand. Maybe I can read your simple mind. Maybe I’m only making them up to entertain myself. I wouldn’t know which is true since I’d never ask.

Anyhow, I don’t always have to know. Or maybe I just believe I already know. Either way, you amuse me.

Ono Lennon

Saya kira kalau kami berpisah, mungkin dia akan kembali menjadi orang populer seperti dulu. Itu bukan satu-satunya alasan saya ingin berpisah. Saya juga muak karena dibenci semua orang di dunia. Situasi itu menyiksa. Itu berbahaya bagi saya. Bagi John, itu mempengaruhi penjualan albumnya. Itu berarti menghambat karirnya. Saya merasa bersalah. Namun John bersikeras agar kami bersama. Jadi kami kembali untuk duduk di neraka dan menikmatinya. Neraka! Apa itu neraka? “Kita akan bahagia di mana saja selama kita bersama. Apakah kita peduli? Tidak, Yoko. Kita tidak peduli, bukan? Kita akan duduk di kursi goyang di Cornwall saat tua, dan menantikan kartu pos dari Sean.”

Dikutip dari “Hari-hari Terakhir John: Sebuah Kisah Kenangan oleh Yoko Ono”
Rolling Stone Edisi Januari 2011

You

I found joy in your eyes, your smile. Love is a simple matter. But the games complicate it. Don’t turn it into a game. You shouldn’t play with people’s hearts.

I love you. And it’s just as simple as what it is, dearest one.